heshui

heshui

不停画着这个圈,不停期待着改变

Wind God 125

Fengshen 125

Lyrics: Zhong Yongfeng
Composer: Lin Shengxiang

Hakka pronunciation (Chinese vernacular)

(Mother's voice):

Chengzi, farming is futile (Chengzi, farming doesn't yield any oil)

You haven't read any books

Don't go learn a skill

People say, every job is difficult

Even begging is not easy

Chengzi, work hard and be serious

Others drive a BMW

We can barely afford a bicycle

We'll make do, we'll make do, we'll definitely have something

In the future

........MUSIC.....

Tell me the words you said before I left home

I haven't forgotten a moment

But these past ten years

I've been like a lost soul

Trying one job after another

Alas! None of them have prospects

Dating one girl after another

But none of them stick around

The economy is in a bubble, my life is disillusioned

Leaving the countryside was full of setbacks

Don't come back! Don't come back!

Mother, forgive me for wanting to return home

I'm willing to risk my life to go back to the village

To start anew

I'm willing to risk my life to go back to the village

To start anew

.......

Chengzi, work hard and be serious

Others drive a BMW

We can barely afford a bicycle

We'll make do, we'll make do, we'll definitely have something

In the future

........MUSIC.....

That's how it is

I ride a Fengshen 125

Leaving behind this bustling city

I'm just a rookie, a nerd, a nobody

I'm really sorry (Hakka dialect)

That's how it is

I ride a Fengshen 125

In this old, worn-out city

I don't care about the economy or the future

I don't care

.......

Grandfather, grandfather, the children nod to you

Please turn off all the streetlights

Don't ask why your children have come back

How could they come back?

Grandfather, grandfather, the children nod to you

Please let the neighbors sleep

Don't let them ask why the children have come back

Don't let them ask too much

...

That's how it is

I ride a Fengshen 125

The night sky is filled with stars

Coconut trees, betel nut trees, electric poles

Everything is shocking

That's how it is

I ride a Fengshen 125

Connecting to County Road 184

Shengzai Bai, Yu Gun, Ah Feng Gu

I've come back

That's how it is

Grandfather, grandfather... I've come back...


Going back home or staying in the city#

I don't have much talent. I've been in Guangzhou for almost half a year now, but I can't save any money each month. Life is okay, I guess. I just work and play on the computer, and when I finish work, I continue playing on the computer.

That's how it is at work, and it's the same after work. My eyes can't take it, and I stay up late every day, sleeping for about five hours. I often wonder if I'll suddenly drop dead, and that would burden my roommate. Although I'm sure he can handle it well.

My parents don't really want me to do this job, even though it's quite relaxed. I don't have much to do at work, and I spend my weekends lying around in my rented room.

I can't think of anything special to write, so I'll just write whatever comes to mind.

Going back home should be more lively, but I don't really like that kind of liveliness. I'm not good at dealing with people, so it's better for me to be a homebody.

Living in the city is not bad either. The infrastructure is well-developed and truly convenient. Maybe because I come from a rural background, I still find all these modern things fresh.

I still feel inferior, in terms of my perspective, abilities, and courage.

But it's really comfortable in my hometown, without too many worries, if it's just me alone. But it's unlikely to have everything I like, there will always be some regrets. My hometown is too remote, it takes hours just to go to the county town, and how can I, someone who enjoys niche hobbies, accept that?

I also have fewer friends in my hometown. It's because I don't really like to keep in touch with people. It's my own fault, and if I want to develop in my hometown, it's quite troublesome.

Do I have few friends? It seems like it, I can only contact them occasionally, maybe just one. Living apart, I probably can't maintain friendships for too long. It's actually quite good for me, if there's something important, I can contact them. After all, I don't really enjoy chatting online, especially with friends.

For dealing with work or other formal matters, chatting online is great, especially with strangers. Many people are just passing through, I don't have to invest too much emotion, it's really nice.

I've always thought of myself as more emotional, so I chose liberal arts, but unfortunately, my ability to express myself is not great, so I became a science and engineering student. I'm not good at either, I'm stuck in between, maybe that's the state of most people.

Let me talk about the song "Fengshen 125". It's sung in Hakka, a dialect from Taiwan, by Lin Shengxiang, a Hakka person. Because it's in Hakka, I really enjoy listening to it, even though I don't understand some of the lyrics.

This song feels quite sad, at least that's how I feel when I listen to it. It's the kind of sadness that brings tears to your eyes, the kind of sadness that you can truly relate to. That's how I personally feel, not achieving anything, not making big money, not starting a family and career, just returning home in a sorry state.

I don't want it to be like this, but I can't help it.

May 18, 2023

Guangdong Global Communication Building

Written while slacking off

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