heshui

heshui

不停画着这个圈,不停期待着改变

The flying bird turns west.

This is a sad city, and I don't want to come back here.

2021.12.28#

The night is already deep, and the sky is slightly bright, this is the city's faint light.

2022.01.18#

It's been a long time since I came home, half a month. I haven't done anything, just eating, drinking, playing around, very idle.
I always feel anxious about the future, uncertain, with a huge stone in my heart.

2023.01.17#

It has been a year since the last text, but I still feel anxious. I don't have the ability, knowledge, or skills now.
I read online comments about frontend jobs, and they are all negative. Those with associate degrees say to pursue a bachelor's degree, but I really don't want to go back to school.
Right now, I just want to find a computer-related job, be a honest programmer, play what I like, play what I want.
Emotions.

2023.03.09#

Perhaps some people are just incompatible, no matter what position they are in, no matter how they try to adapt to each other.
Maybe it's a problem in the workplace, I don't know, I'm just a fool, a fool who brings it upon myself.

Unconsciously, I have been in Guangzhou for over a month. Actually, I lied to everyone, I still haven't adapted to life here, I feel uncomfortable because of the pain and confusion at this moment.

I started to search for the root of my own pain, even though there is hope everywhere, why am I stuck in the quagmire.

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